A friend and I were talking about the expectations we tend to have in relationships. One of the things we talked about was how we, as adult human beings, always tend to love people for who they will be, or who we expect them to be, rather than who they are.
We all do this. Regardless of the type of relationship. And we are very much disappointed. We make these ridiculous sets of rules and expectations because we know, deep down inside, that no one can ever live up to them. Ever. And what it does is provide a thick, bazooka-proof shield to guard ourselves from putting our hearts on the line and from having them crushed under the pressure of someone else's disappointment.
And the biggest reason we do it is because we are afraid of being hurt. We are taught so often to seek comfort, safety and security rather than love, truth and hope. These three things come with a price tag. That price tag is comfort, safety and security.
So the next time you consider your relationships (this includes friendships too), think about why you really love them - do you love them for who they are, good, bad and ugly? Or do you love them for who they might be?
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