What Love Really Means

A friend and I were talking about the expectations we tend to have in relationships.  One of the things we talked about was how we, as adult human beings, always tend to love people for who they will be, or who we expect them to be, rather than who they are. 

We all do this.  Regardless of the type of relationship.  And we are very much disappointed.  We make these ridiculous sets of rules and expectations because we know, deep down inside, that no one can ever live up to them. Ever. And what it does is provide a thick, bazooka-proof shield to guard ourselves from putting our hearts on the line and from having them crushed under the pressure of someone else's disappointment.

And the biggest reason we do it is because we are afraid of being hurt.  We are taught so often to seek comfort, safety and security rather than love, truth and hope.  These three things come with a price tag.  That price tag is comfort, safety and security. 

So the next time you consider your relationships (this includes friendships too), think about why you really love them - do you love them for who they are, good, bad and ugly?  Or do you love them for who they might be?

1 Corinthians 13 1-3: The Impact of God's Love

When speaking of love in the Bible, the first passage that comes up, naturally, is 1 Corinthians Chapter 13.  One of the great things about this particular chapter is that it spans all the way from Genesis to Revelation.  It can be used to reflect God's love throughout the Old and New Testaments.

1 Corinthians 13: 1-3

 ¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ²And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

This passage illustrates what our life would be like if we didn’t have love.  Love has a greater impact than even faith.  We could have everything in the world, or give up everything in the world. Without love, our lives are empty, unfulfilling and meaningless.  Everything we do must be as a result of “true love to God and man.” * 

The truth about that is this – we cannot do it alone.  As an American, I have been bred, trained and brainwashed to believe that I am independent; that I can do anything I put my mind to, all on my own.  I don’t need anyone’s help, advice, counsel, and I certainly don’t need anyone to give me anything that I can’t get myself.  But…

IT’S ALL A LIE!

We can’t do it alone! We never have and we never will! We are genetically engineered by the God of the Universe to be dependent.  Even Adam, God’s first human being, needed someone to help him.  That’s why God created Eve.  And both had to rely on God’s love and provision to survive, even AFTER they had been cast out of the Garden of Eden.  God didn’t just smite them down with bolts of lightning. No! He let them live because He is a merciful God and because He cares and loves us far more than we could ever fathom.  And if we do not RECEIVE that love, then we cannot GIVE that love.  And we NEED that love, friends. We need it more than I think any of us realize.

* Quoted from Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary 
    http://www.christnotes.org/commentary.php?b=46&c=13&com=mhc

 

In the beginning... there was Love.

J.J. Heller has a song called "What Love Really Means."  This song has pretty poignant lyrics about our definition of love and God's definition of love.  This blog will explore the Scriptural definition of love, how it's characterized and how we are called to act it out in our daily lives. 

"He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would’ve stayed
And she says…

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said “I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew."